Finally, finding the right councillor
In regards to blogging, I’ve always wanted to keep certain parts of my life and opinions separate from blogging. From being a teenager, I always had some sort of stress or negative feeling that inhibited me from reaching my full potential. I don’t feel as my life has been horrendous. I’ve experienced bullying throughout school, exclusion by other close friends breaking my trust and self-isolation. One of the major factors is I never fully gotten over these experiences or developed healthy coping strategies not to mention a superb detailed orientated long term memory and tendency to never let things go.
One of the worst experiences of my life, was when I was sixteen, I felt I started to find myself and gained confidence. Unfortunately , I met someone, who was both mentally and emotionally unstable intern pushing me to my limits of sanitary. They also constantly accused me of false accusations that I was cheating on him, however, if he looked at my schedule including college I simply didn’t have the time or physical or emotional energy to contemplate. This relationship also left a lot of emotional baggage, I’m still dealing through.
As time has moved forward, I certainly changed as a person and with other aspects that have remained the same. I’m possibly a lot more patient and less quick to respond to my temper. Other issues such as low self-esteem, avoiding confrontation and possibly taking things away to personal at times. As originally stated, I have now reached a point in my life where I no longer want to feel so low.
In past, I have sought counselling before but I’ve started though because I’ve felt better I stopped going and the same cycle kept reoccurring. The last time I tried cognitive behaviour therapy, I found this assisted for a short period until I stopped attending the sessions.
I self-referred myself to my local mental health team in an attempt to initiate change in dealing with my issues. Fortunately, one of the benefits of residing in the United Kingdom we have the NHS (National Health Service). I don’t have to pay for to see a counsellor but I’m limited to eight sessions of forty-five minute with the potential of possible referral if necessary.
So for the last few weeks, I have been a qualified mental nurse who specialises in Psychotherapy where I’ve been discussing personal events that have affected my personal perspective, how I deal with my low moods and stress.
I finally feel as though I have found a counsellor I could open up to I find her very empathetic without being patronising, and she makes me feel relaxed. She also has vast clinical knowledge who suggested that I may have dysthymia.
According to Mayo Clinic:
Persistent depressive disorder, also called dysthymia (dis-THIE-me-uh), is a continuous long-term (chronic) form of depression. You may lose interest in normal daily activities, feel hopeless, lack productivity, and have low self-esteem and an overall feeling of inadequacy. These feelings last for years and may significantly interfere with your relationships, school, work and daily activities.
I do feel the sessions have helped but I think this is the first stage in dealing with these issues, as only I can change my perspective but at least the councillor is educating me in how to deal with these issues. I do feel disappointed that I can only have eight sessions but I may try and seek a support a group to help after finishing the session I feel there is some improvement.